On the eve of the movers coming to pack, there is still so much for me to do. I don't want to do any of it. I just want to stay here (and have the scorpions move away). I love OUR home. It's the house we have so many memories in and where I've brought home 2 of my boys and raised Logan since 4 months and Noah since 2. It's our first house we've purchased and at 23 & 25, I'm proud of us. I'm proud of who we're becoming and now we have to leave it all. I don't do well with change, and it seems like that is all there is for me right now. Changing jobs, homes, states, friends, wards, communities, etc. Everyone here in Sahuarita knows that this is a very special place and we just happened to move into an AMAZING ward. I remember meeting my first friend from the ward before we moved in while playing at the park (Sabrina) and was so excited that we had kids the same age who were both so tall for their age. Yay, for having things in common :) Then we moved in and I met my second friend, Kim. One of my best friends here and I'm having a hard time knowing that she's not going to be right down the street from me anymore. We're both military (Kim & I) so we've known that we wouldn't be living near each other forever, but it's still hard. She was always my go to girl for movies, dinner out, advice, venting, walks, needing to borrow ingredients, and so much more. The thing about this ward, I could give something special about all the women/families. If I (or anyone else is in need), we're there for each other. We've bonded and grown stronger in good times and bad. We've dealt with devastation together and strengthened one another mentally and spiritually. We've laughed so much, sometimes at ourselves and other times at each other. I've been inspired by so many women here to try a little harder to be a little better, but not to worry about being perfect. Those who I thought were perfect, I've learned aren't. I've learned not to give up, and that being myself and doing my best is enough and when it's not I have the savior's help and he's given it to me through these amazing women.
I guess I just needed to get this off my chest a little and have a good cry. I'm sure there will be many more times that I need to cry and allow myself to actually process that I'm moving. It's happening and soon, and there isn't much I can do about it. I just have to continue to pray and trust that the Lord will guide us in whatever is going to come next in our journey.
